Support When Your Child Has Cancer

Key points about support when your child has cancer

• if your child has had a cancer diagnosis, the responses of everyone in your whānau can cover a wide range of emotions 
• you and your whānau should know you are not alone and that support is available

What can I expect following my child's cancer diagnosis?

If your child has had a cancer diagnosis, the responses of everyone in your whānau can cover a wide range of emotions. These can vary in intensity and the length of time they last. They can also occur and recur unexpectedly.

For adults, there may be any mix of feelings:

• denial
• anger
• guilt
• grief
• fear
• blame
• confusion
• worry
• sadness
• a sense of loss

For tamariki (children) and rangatahi (young people), there may also be behavioural changes.

Things your family may notice the effects of

While you're going through all of this, you and your whānau also need to understand medical information, discover how to navigate the health system and learn the mechanics of continuing to live well with your child's illness.

Your whānau may also notice the effects of:

• caring for your child having cancer treatment, which may continue for a long time
• the effort of continuing work commitments and household and whānau activities while caring for your sick child
• the demands of caring for other tamariki in your whānau in the new situation, which may be puzzling for them
• the impact on inter-family relationships and relationships with friends

You and your whānau should know you are not alone and that support is available.

How can the hospital social worker help when my child has cancer?

A child's cancer diagnosis can be physically and emotionally taxing for you and the whole whānau. You may find yourselves in situations ranging from turmoil to crisis.

The hospital social worker can help organise emotional and practical support for you and your whānau. Support is available:

• when you are in hospital with your child
• when you are in your own home
• within your community

How do I find the social worker at the hospital?

A social worker will be aware of you and your child's arrival in the ward at the hospital. The social worker will arrange to meet you and talk with you about the various types of support available for your whānau.

What kind of practical support is available when my child has cancer?

Practical support can include help with things such as:

• accommodation
• travel benefits
• parking
• childcare
• finance
• counselling

What kind of emotional support is available when my child has cancer?

Emotional support can include:

• organising crisis counselling
• making psychological assessments
• acting as an advocate in family meetings
• offering stress management strategies
• making suggestions about sibling care
• giving advice about inter-family relationships

What kind of cultural support is available when my child has cancer?

Cultural support can include:

• referral to the hospital Māori or Pacific Island health team if your child or whānau asks for cultural support 
• suggesting referral to the hospital Māori or Pacific Island health team or community Māori health provider if this help can positively influence outcomes or help your family reach their goals more easily

What kind of spiritual support is available when my child has cancer?

Spiritual support can include:

• making a referral to a spiritual advisor or pastoral carer from the hospital or community
• making a referral to the Māori health team when there is a request for karakia before a procedure

May a child psychologist be involved when my child has cancer?

Support from a child psychologist may be available.

Tell your doctor at the hospital if you would like some help with behavioural changes that you notice in your child.

What community support is available when my child has cancer?

Child Cancer Foundation (CCF)

CCF is a national organisation that offers emotional and practical support to children with cancer and their families.

Visit the CCF family hub on their website for information about support services. 

There are also contact details for the division nearest you.

CanTeen

CanTeen is an organisation for 13 to 24-year-olds living with cancer, whether they are dealing with their own cancer or that of a sibling or parent. 'CanTeeners' support each other at home and in the hospital.

See the website for more information on parent and whānau support. 

There are also contact details for the division nearest you.

Read about where to find more information and support

Read more about childhood cancer